This week had been the toughest of my life, but, I finally had the courage to go out.
It was awkward exploring your beautiful city without you guiding me through it. Every year, we would visit the same places and eat in the same restaurants. And each time, you would explain to me—over and over again—the difference between the rivers Saone and Rhone, and where they met. The love and passion that you had for your culture and country were contagious. It made me feel at home each I visited.Today was different. The sun refused to shine without you. Instead, thick storm clouds covered the sky, mirroring the gloom that was spreading within me.I think back at all the good times we shared. And although they are the sweetest memories, today, my heart could not bear joy, only sadness. Today, I am empty without you. If love alone could have saved you, you never would have died. My love would have been enough to keep you breathing for several lifetimes more.
For years, you stood by me with your love, strength, and support. You helped me become the person I am today. Thank you for being part of my journey. For everything you taught me. For loving me. For being there whenever I needed you. Even though we’re not related by blood, you took on the role of being a father to me and my sisters. Thank you for proving to us that a father’s love is not defined by DNA. We couldn’t have asked for a better dad.
It’s been 18 days since you left. But even though you are no longer physically here, we are never far apart. You will live always in my heart. I will remember that truth every time I find myself thinking of you, or looking for you, or missing you.
Grief gently reminds me to be grateful for every second of every day that I get to spend with people I love. The moments that we have invested and continue to invest in each other’s lives will help us cope with our longing when tomorrow never comes. Knowing that we showed love and appreciation while we still can will leave no room for regrets.
Thank you for teaching me this, and for all the rest. I wish your soul peace.
Love and light. x